OMG!!! Ponies!!!

The Bacon Mary was a success.  I love it, especially after a long day of coding documents.  But it’s February which means I need a new drink.  As promised, the Bacotini.

Here’s how I approached the Bacotini:  (1) don’t try to make it a classic Martini; (2) don’t try to make it a vodka Martini; (3) don’t try to make it a Holy Martini (a la Holy Basil on East 12th Street in Manhattan).  Instead, I wanted something new.  So, of course, I started with something old.  Two “something-old”s to be specific - the Hendrick’s Martini and the Vesper Martini.

For those who don’t know, the Vesper Martini is 3 parts Gordon’s London Dry, 1 part grain/rye vodka and a 1/2 part of Lillet Blanc.  It gets its name from Casino Royale, the first James Bond book by Ian Fleming.  The Hendrick’s Martini is a variation of the classic Martini which uses Hendrick’s Gin (which has a taste of cucumber to it), a hint of dry vermouth and a cucumber slice as a garnish.  Accordingly, I decided to combine the vodka hybridization of the Vesper with the alternative taste of Henrick’s.  Then, things took a spicy taste.  The recipe is after the jump.

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Until this week, I was planning on voting for Barack Obama. Then, a certain hawkish Senator from New York had a slightly teary moment. Since then, I have resolved to vote against Hillary Clinton. Don’t get me wrong - I’m still voting for Obama. But that moment also caused me to lose any respect I may have had for Hillary Clinton. It’s not that she got teary - it’s why.

All of the press has focused on the answer. What really needs more attention is the question. Ms. Clinton was having a round-table discussion with a group of allegedly undecided voters when she was tossed a Bush-league softball. In response, she got infamously teary. The question:

“My question is very personal, how do you do it? How do you, how do you keep upbeat and so wonderful? And who does your hair?“

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At first, I thought that there wasn’t much to say about Vikings.  I considered giving them the benefit of the doubt and broadening the Viking category to include virtually all barbarian hordes of all stripe - including Klingons and Reavers.  

Then I realized that there’s a reason that people still talk about Vikings - they kicked ass in real life.  First of all, as far as true Vikings are concerned, there is Beowulf.  Yes, he was a Geat - but that’s a lot closer than a lot of other Viking heroes get to the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field the Northlands.  Vikings terrorized Europe, their descendants conquered England, and they pioneered trans-Atlantic exploration and colonization, established colonies in Greenland and Vinland.

I have to say, in a fight between Viking and pirate, it’s pretty close.  The Viking ideal of death in battle gives the Viking an early lead.  But the pirate’s ability to not go berserk, use post-Iron age weapons including pistols and cannon, and better fashion sense give pirates the edge over Vikings.  But Vikings beat ninjas because no ninja has the stones to gain entry into Valhalla.  Plus, the sight of a Viking berserker would make a ninja piss his pajamas. 

Viking mythology is also pretty damned awesome.  The eddas and sagas outline a divine opera with contains the underpinnings of some Christian lore and rivals Greco-Roman mythology as far as internecine bitchiness is concerned.  Not only that, but while Zeus was just another sky-god, Odin had a pair of ravens and only one eye.  Not to mention the eight-legged horse.   Odin would kick Zeus’ ass any day of the week and twice on Tuesdays.  And let’s not forget one of the great tricksters of all time, Loki, and Ragnarok, the end of the reign of the gods, in a giant cosmic battle that pits god against titan.  Screw the Rapture - I want to see Ragnarok.

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